14 December 2012

yesterday and feeling insecure

I'm not pleased with how yesterday's post sounded. It's not sitting well with me.

1. It was truly not a backhanded jab at my friend's parenting choices.
2. It was really not even about Disney movies and toys.
3. It was actually a veiled confession that I am really just 11-year-old Anne Shirley on the inside and want a bosom friend but I haven't been able to find one here, and I was taking it out on parenting choices since that is one of the first things that becomes apparent when I'm interacting with potential kindred spirits (aka other girls (or do i have to say women??) my age).

Fortunately there are so many facets that a spirit can be kindred to. There's
-loving nature
-loving to play volleyball outside
-wanting to get good grades
-liking paying attention in museums
-thinking other people are taking things too seriously
-loving to eat and cook
-being a lazy parent
-liking sewing
-loving old things and antiques
-wanting to talk about art history
-liking mystery tv shows and old books
-liking to walk instead of ride
-liking to make things
-finding nothing wrong with "borrowing" bikes for late-night summer rides

There is an actual friend out there (it's probably you) attached to each of those things! I'm so lucky to have you. But also, why aren't any of you here in my town? On my block? In my backyard?

(Now is when I finally get to use the Santa Claus is Coming to Town analogy I've been thinking about!)

You know when Chris Kringle comes to Sombertown all dressed up in what he thinks are normal clothes, with a bag full of what he thinks are normal toys and the Burgermeister tells him he is a nonconformist and a rebel?


That is kind of an extremely hyperbolic way to describe how I feel here. Because people are actually pretty much normal and don't make fun of my furry red suit, but I just can't seem to find that kindred thing in any of them! Which is weird! Because there is a kindred spirit in most people, don't you think?

At the risk of pointing out the extremely obvious, I have found one highly kindred spirit in this town, and not only that, but he's also really handsome and crafty and that is no small thing.

Moral of the story, move here and live by me. The End.


Abby said...


Why do we live so far from each

Echo said...

Well, I love you no matter what! An you missed listening to great music, screaming at the top of your lungs with the windows down on your list.

And, I think kids are all missing out on the simple things in life. I don't think my kids even know how to explore! Heck, they couldn't even sing Rudolph correctly the other day. Yeah, that made me feel like a terrible parent. Hang in there! You're a wonderful parent!

melissa said...

you're right echo, the music was an important one! how did i forget to list it?

L.R.L said...

I'm positive I could learn a thing or two (or more) about parenting from you.

Sometimes I wish I could take my family into the past and live in the wilderness, when times were simpler. For some reason, I feel like they never had security issues (which I have far to often) or competitive feelings. Silly, I know. Plus, I want to be a flapper, but that's another story and era.

Also, finding a special/comfortable friend is hard. It's something I complain about. Mine recently moved way and I have a little empty space in my heart now.

Sigh, you are one in a million.

Your list made me really happy. Especially, the last one :)

(longest comment award)

L.R.L said...

p.s. keep that little mind pure and clear as long as you can. As far as I can tell, this is the only time in his life he'll be so innocent. don't let that go.

julis said...

I have somehow raised highly independent children who hate hate hate admitting to a teeny tiny slight hardly noticeable weakness and/or asking for help. I am here to say "it's okay to write about a longing in your soul, even if you don't mean it all the time and don't like the way it looks in print." That, my darling girl, is what writing is for. (said the English teacher)

I love the Santa Claus is Coming to Town analogy (it's by far my favorite animated Christmas movie). I love Calvin and his Old School style. I love that you have a highly kindred spirit RIGHT IN THE VERY SAME HOUSE! Because that's how it's supposed to be.

Aaand you can always move to Rexburg and live by me. ha.

B said...

I am behind in my blog reading but this one still needs s response. You know that I feel the same way. I it is so easy to meet likable people, it is not so easy to really really like someone. I sometimes feel like I am constantly having to explain myself to these friends I am trying to make here; like I am my own narrator. I don't know if that is evidence that I don't really fit with these new friends or just more evidence that I can be a touch too much socially. Either way I can't find that same kindred locally either. But I know that someone out there I have friends like you that don't need the extra narration (i feel like fievel looking out a window singing a lonely tune). However, like you I do have that one highly kindred spirit and not everyone finds that so I am not complaining just agreeing with you. And also just assuring you (even though I know that you don't need it)that I like you just as you are

melissa said...

I am so full of feelings about this one, I don't know how to express them! Yes, a few months late to the conversation, I know. I have felt like that a lot. In the place we live now I feel really really really lucky that the pattern has changed and I have found some friends that I will really mourn when one or all of us move on. I loved that Anne of green gables post link. Oh man how I want to be a good person and a good friend. There are so many people out there who need friendship and connection in so many different ways.

I agree with your mom. :) she seems really awesome.

I love you and hope you will find someone, and/or some kindredness in someone that hasn't been apparent so far, and I'm really glad you have Nate.:)