17 September 2015

dementors

You have read Harry Potter, right? I have just re-read some of them and it solved my problem of trying to explain to Nate the worst part about my pregnancies: Dementors! And he totally agreed.
A Patronus
Of course I don't like being sick. Of course I would feel miserable being this sick no matter how much cheerfulness I pretended to have, but the problem I get is that there is no cheerfulness to fake. It is as if something is sucking it all away. I won't laugh at your jokes even if I get them because there is no funniness. If you are making any noise right now, especially if you are EATING--do it quieter and further away from me because there is no graciousness. There is no kindness or fun. No glee.

It is hard. It doesn't last forever. Every now and then something dispels it, but for the most part I am a difficult person, difficult for myself AND difficult for you. I have tried to positive-attitude myself out of it, which of course doesn't work, but it does prevent things from spiraling into absolute looneytown at least 75% of the time. If you have been pregnant maybe you know what I'm talking about, but also maybe not, because nothing in this realm seems to be universal. I just have to remember: someday this dementor will be a very funny two-year-old.

2 comments:

Catherine said...

Is the baby a dementor in that it is sucking the life and happiness out of you? Because that's how I feel in those early weeks of pregnancy ;) But then as soon as I get into the second semester, I forget all about that and imagine that pregnancy is SO easy and that I was never a cranky, nauseated monster. Good luck!

julis said...

You are truly my child in your ability to speak figurative language. I now completely understand. And thinking of Norah as a patronus is also perfect! That is a perfectly acceptable use of a child. :-) Hang in there, Mo. You can do it, and you have help, and it will get better. (eventually) xxoo